Chaper 91: Trust Is Everything

John looked over at Ashley to study the expression on her face. "Damn it! Did I say too much? Does she know what I did? Did she figure it out?  Cheating on her with Patty really wasn't  my fault though! That bitch got me hammered!" He thought to himself, as he continued to stare at her. "What if she breaks it off with me?"

"What?" Ashley asked trying to figure out the look on John's face. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"What kind of way? I'm sorry." He lightly grinned. "I was just looking at you. Sometimes I still can't believe you're mine."

"Oh stop it! I really doubt you spend your time thinking that!" She laughed and shook her head."

"Well I do. I think about how lucky I was to meet you. And how great it was when you finally said you'd go out with me. You just really don't know what you mean to me Ash. I'm crazy about you. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

"Aww you're so sweet! She tilted her head toward him. "That's why I love you John. You're so honest with your feelings for me. I know I can trust you and trust is everything to me."

"Ash I really don't deserve you. You'll always be too good for me. But I'll do everything I can to try to be the guy you deserve. I promise I will."

"You don't have to try. You are that guy for me. I love you."

"I love you too and I'm sorry, but I really need to cut this short. I promised Richie I would drop by to check out his new guitar his dad got him on his trip to Memphis."

"Okay that's fine. I don't mind, really." She assured him.

"So I can drop you off at your dad's house now?"

"Yeah I'm ready. I'll meet you back over here later." She answered quickly getting up off the couch.

John grabbed his keys, followed by his cigarettes and lighter. Ashley grabbed her bag and stuffed a couple of her dirty shirts in it to wash later. They left out of the apartment, with John pausing only to shut and lock the door.

They walked over to the 280 zx and were soon on their way to her house.

After a few minutes John broke the silence. "You okay? You've been so quiet." He glanced over at her, while he was driving down Ocean Avenue.

"Yeah I'm sorry. I'm okay. Just thinking about our date. I really wish you would tell me where we're going."

"Nope that would just ruin the surprise." He smirked looking at her.

"Well at least tell me if you have ever taken any girls there before?"

"Nope I haven't ever been there with another other girls. But why would it matter?"

"I just wanted to know if you had ever been there with Dorothea or anybody else. That's all."

"Well don't worry. I swear to you, I've never been there with Dot or anybody else. This place is just be for us."

"Okay good." She smiled and seemed happy with his answer.

John reached over for her hand and gently took it in his.

 She looked down at their hands joined together and smiled. She felt such happiness for a brief moment. Until that nagging thought entered her head once again. The one that had been keeping her up at night. "What if I am really pregnant? I know John couldn't handle it?" She grabbed her stomach which was twisting in knots. "I've just got to wait a little bit longer. Tuesday isn't that far off." She thought as the anticipation of her doctors appointment was building even more. She looked over at John as he had his eyes glued to the road turning at a green light. "What if I have to break the news to him? What if I have to tell him that at eighteen, he's going to be a father?" She turned to look out the window as her heart sank.

He pulled up in front of her blue two story house. "Okay here you go, curbside service mam." He grinned.

"Thank you sir." She smiled back at him, noticing the way his blue eyes seem to sparkle just a little more when he grinned. "Have fun over at Richie's. See if you can get any of the details about the rest of his date with Stacey last night." She giggled.

"Oh I already know. He didn't get anywhere with her. I'm really starting to think your cousin is a tease!" He snickered.

"Stop it! You know she's not.  She slept with Dalton!"

"Then why is she dodging my boy? It ain't like she's a virgin or something!"

"Well she's not one of these little rock and roll groupie sluts y'all love so much!"

"Now hey why are you lumping me in with him? I never  said I prefer groupie sluts! I kinda got a thing for blonde virgins now." He smiled. 

"Well that's not me, John. I'm not a virgin anymore."

"Oh you'll always be my little virgin, baby." 

"You're crazy. I just really hope it works out for them. Richie wouldn't just be trying to mess with her head would he?" She asked seeming really concerned.

"What do you mean?" John asked playing dumb. Knowing exactly what she meant. A game he himself was oh so good at.

"Oh you know.  Telling her what she wants to hear. Just to get in her pants!" She belted out and studied his face waiting for a reaction.

"Nope! I think you have it all wrong! I think he really likes her. I mean he acts like he does anyway." John looked into her eyes with all the sincerity he could muster.

"Really? I just don't want him to hurt her."

"Yeah, he really seems to like her." He smiled melting her heart a little, putting her mind at ease. 

"Good because she really likes him too." She got out and leaned down back into the window. "I'm so excited about our date tonight. I wish you would give me a hint what we're doing!" She walked around to the driver's side as he stepped out of the car.

"I can't tell you. It's a secret. You'll see soon enough." He looked at her with a cute little grin leaning on his car door.

 "Oh you know I hate surprises!"

He laughed. "You'll live. I really need to get on over to Richie's. Can I get a kiss?"

"Well I don't know? She smiled a little.

"Come here!" He pulled her closer. He kissed her deeply and caught her a little off guard. He pulled back and moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue. "See you in a little bit. Okay?"

"Okay bye John. I love you."

"I love you too baby." He replied as he got back in the car and started backing out of the  driveway as she walked on up to the door.

John drove over to Woodbridge and pulled up at Richie's and parked next to his Camaro. He soon caught a glimpse of him standing outside the front door. "Bout time you showed up." Richie called out taking a drag off of his Marlboro cigarette.

"I told you lunchtime. I had to drop Ash off."

"Okay well come on. It's in my room!" He couldn't control his excitement any longer.

Richie hurried over to his shiny new guitar and picked it up. "This is my new baby!" He held onto it with all the pride of a new father.

"Damn! That is nice! Where did your Pops get the dough for this?" John grabbed it and it felt so good and smooth in his hands, as he began to play it.

"He got a really good deal on it! I told you it was awesome!" Richie grinned knowing John was a little jealous of it.

"So when are you going to bump out Sebastian and take your spot back in the Rest. Jack's been playing gigs all over town and there's been rumors. Not from your real friends but people have been talking." Richie braced for impact. Nothing pissed John off more that people thinking Sebastian was doing a better job than him in his own band.

John's face turned serious instantly. "Just what the hell have you been hearing? What fucking rumors are you talking about?

"Just that Jack thinks you won't totally get your voice back and he might offer Sebastian the gig permanently."

"Bullshit! I helped Jack get that band started he can't fuck me over like that!" John yelled with his face showing he was getting a little pissed.

"I know man! You just need to talk to Jack and let him know how much better you are. I mean you know how Bas is. He's going to try to push you out of the picture if he can."

John all of a sudden seemed worried. He began to stare off in space a little.

Richie noticed and broke the silence. "What's up man?" He asked sympathetically, knowing John had been through a lot recently.

"What if they're right. What if my voice won't be the same? I mean I've sung a little but it was hard. I struggled. What if I can't sing like I did before? If my music was off the table, I don't know what I would do." He looked up at Richie with all his nagging worry and fear showing on his face.

"Look man, don't worry. You are going to come back better than before. Sebastian or nobody is going to stop you from being the shining star that you are meant to be."

John smiled with a little relief. "Thanks man. That makes me feel a little better. I haven't been able to get it out of my head you know. My music and being a singer is all that I've got. I don't have a backup plan. It's this or the factory and that place would kill me man!"

"Me too man! I saw Eddie Thompson at the carwash yesterday. He looked like a zombie. He's been at the factory around a year and he's aged ten years. He ain't the carefree guy we used to go to the Hercules water hole with. He barely spoke to me. I kinda felt sorry for him."

"Wow well that can't be me! I can't end up there. I want to get a record deal, grab my shit and Ashley and get the hell out of here."

"Yeah that sounds good, but think about what your saying. You want to take your girl out on the road with you. I mean that's never going to work. You don't see the Stones touring with their women. I mean how the hell are you going to get any action dragging your ball and chain around with you?" Richie asked wondering what the hell John was thinking.

"Who says I'm trying to get any action? I mean I'm trying to be faithful to Ash. And mostly I have been." John began to argue. "You out of anybody knows what that girl means to me!"

"Yeah I know, but how long do you think she is going to sit side stage watching all those hot chicks throwing themselves at you. Everybody knows the frontman gets more pussy than anybody! And Ashley is a lot of things but she ain't stupid. She ain't going to sit by and let you live out your rockstar dream while she waits in the wings."

"Damn it Richie! I've never thought about that before. If the one thing I want more than anything comes true, it might cost me the one thing I can't live without. I don't want to lose Ashley, she's everything to me."

"Don't sweat it man. Plenty of dudes have juggled women and life on the road. Just leave her at home and you will be set. What she don't know ain't going to hurt her or get you killed."

"I don't know. Ash is hot. Every guy in town would be making the moves on her."

"Maybe but what are you going to do? Give up your dream to fight them off? You've got to go. Girl or no girl."

"Maybe but right now I guess I need to be going home. I'm taking her out tonight and I've got some shit to do before."

"Cool, where are you going?"

"The River Cafe in the city."

"Nice!" Richie grinned. "She'll love that. I need to do something like that with Stacey." He smiled thinking about her.

"So how did you make out with 'ol Stace last night? Did you finally get any?" John chuckled.

"Look she's gun shy man. That Dalton dude really fucked her over and I've got to try to make that shit up to her somehow."

"I hear you. Nobody worked harder than me to get Ash to come around. Jake had really messed her up. She was hell set against me. But I had to have her. I broke down all those damn walls she put up. And it was so worth it. I'm such a better person when I'm with her. I can truly for once in my life say that I really love her and couldn't see myself without her."

"Wow. That's a big statement bro. I mean you really haven't known her that long. I mean Ash is great and all, don't get me wrong. But where'd my friend Johnny go that left the club with a different chick every night? I mean your scoring record is about as good as mine and I'm almost three years older than you!" Richie raised his brow and made a questioning face looking at John. "How did you let her mess your good thing up?"

"Shit I don't know man. I didn't go looking for her. She fell right in my lap. It was the best and the worst thing that could happen to me. I mean I feel things for her I never have for any other girl, but I'm not a dumbass. I know it's too good too last. She deserves way better than me. What can I offer her? To share my fleabag apartment on the beach while I do errand jobs for Harold and hope to someday leave her to hit the road to chase my dream? She deserves way better. Ashley deserves all the good things in life. She should be driving in limos, eating seafood and living in one of those mansions on Belmar Beach. I know I really don't deserve for her to be slumming it, at my place with me."

"Don't put yourself down, Johnny. Something tells me you just might have limos and a mansion on Belmar Beach in your future too. And if Ashley's really worth it. She'll be there with you. Hell I might even be there too. I'll buy one right next to you. But I will be hooking up with a different playboy bunny, supermodel, and hot young starlet everynight!" Richie laughed. "Since you will be tied down, you will have to live all your fantasies through me!" He continued to chuckle. "I'll have Brooke Shields one night. I'll take a little Farrah Fawcett on the side. Oh yeah I love blondes, how about Heather Locklear just to get me through to the weekend. And then I can wind down with a brunette. How about a little Cindy Crawford on the side." Richie laughed. "Now that would be the life!"

"Sounds good but no Cindy Crawford for you. I have had a thing for her and if anyone's going to be giving it to 'ol Cindy, it might as well be me!" John laughed.

"What about Ashley? I thought you were in loooove?" Richie exaggerated with his hand over his heart.


"Well Ashley would kill me, that's for sure. But oh, what a way to go out!" John continued laughing. "On that note, I'm out of here." John stood up and walked over to the door.

"Okay. Thanks for coming by. Hope your date goes well tonight. The River Cafe is a cool spot. I think Ash will love it."

"Yeah me too." John reached for his keys in his pocket.

"You should swing by the Fast Lane tonight if you get a chance. We're going up there. Not sure who the band will be, but we'll be there for sure."

"Okay maybe. I'll run it by Ashley." John turned back around when he made it outside. He looked over at Richie's old camaro. "Are you ever going to wash that damn thing?" John let out a loud roar of laughter.

"Don't start man!" Richie replied with a grin. "It's fine. You wash yours so much, I'm sure the paint is coming off in spots!" He laughed knowing how much John loved to keep his car clean.

John opened his car door. "Later man." He got in and cranked up and pulled out of Richie's driveway. As he drove, his mind raced to thoughts of his date tonight with Ashley. He really wanted her to have a good time. She seemed a little down right now and he really didn't know why but he wanted to see if he could put that beautiful smile back on her face where it belonged.

As he drove across the Victory bridge thoughts of Ashley consumed him. Everything they had been through. The fiasco of him thinking he had gotten Dorothea pregnant. The shock and total relief of finding out Alec was the real daddy. He let out a sigh of relief. "I really dodged a bullet there." He mumbled to himself. Everything would be perfect. If he wasn't hiding this big secret from Ashley. His drunken night Patty. "Damn it why did that bitch have to come back into my life?" He wondered as he exited the bridge heading back to his apartment to get ready for his night with Ashley.

Ashley was dressed  and checked herself in the mirror three times before going downstairs.

Ricky was sitting on the couch watching MTV. "Where are you going all dolled up sis?" He glanced up from the television set.

"With John, he's taking me out tonight?"

"You know you really could do better than him Ash! That punk will be forty playing in those same damn clubs trying to make it!"

"Don't start! I love John! If he never makes it, it will be fine with me!"

"Yeah right! You think that now but being penniless with him still living in that dump by the beach will get old! I have a buddy at the factory that wants to meet you. You'd like him. He's really cool and he has a real job!"

"Nope I'm done with your friends! Jake was enough to last me a lifetime!"

"You miss Jake you know you do! I talked to him today. He wants you to call him!" He chuckled.

"Well he can forget it!" She Replied a little angrily.

"Easy! Calm down before you get all bent out of shape! I was just messing with you. He has a chick!"

"Good! I'm happy for him!" 

"I doubt that?" Ricky smiled.

"What do you mean?" She looked a little confused.

"He's back with your bestie." He laughed.

Ashley's face couldn't hide her disappointment. "Megan? Is he with her? Really?"

"Yep your best friend." 

"Ha! Don't make me laugh! That bitch is no friend of mine! Look I need to go! You aren't parked behind me, are you?"

"Yeah but I'll move it! He grabbed his keys as they walked outside together. He jumped in his car and backed out and pulled beside the curb.

As Ricky walked up the drive he noticed a piece of paper tucked under her winshield wiper. "What's this?" He picked it up as Ashley's  eyes grew bigger watching him.

She hurried toward him and snatched it out of his hand and began reading it. 

Ricky watched her face change dramatically as she read the note. "What is it Ash? Are you okay?"