Chapter 16: I Think I Love Him

John was watching her walk away with Bret wondering if she had come up here to see him before. He was freshly hurt from finding out Dot had cheated, and now he was  beginning to wonder if the girl that was taking up more and more space in his heart everyday, was up to something too.

"Hey there's Lindsey!" Richie tapped John on his shoulder and pointed toward the pool tables. "And she's wearing your jacket!"

John had plenty of rage building about Ashley being with Bret, but he loved that damn jacket and headed straight for the little blonde thief.

John grabbed Lindsey and spun her around.

"Aww damn he's pissed." She thought, when he let her go.

"Give me my fucking jacket, Lindsey!" He yelled at her like he meant business.

"I'm sorry Johnny. I just wanted something of yours to have, since you didn't want to be with me!"

"You need to forget about me! Now give me my damn jacket and leave me the hell alone!"

"Okay!" She pulled it off. "Here you go." She put it in his hands.

He slid the jacket on and rushed to the back of the club, with Richie in tow. Lindsey was left just standing there.

Bret opened the door and pointed at the couch. "Sit down baby, and I'll fix you a glass of champagne."

"Thanks Bret." She wiped her eyes, with a tissue from his desk.

He handed her a glass, as he sat down beside her.  She started drinking out of it. 

The door swung open. It startled Ashley and she spilled some of the champagne on her dress. John stood there leaning against the wall, with a hard angry look on his face.

"Ashley what the hell are you doing up here with him?" John yelled as he saw her sitting on the couch so close to Bret.

Ashley was startled and John could tell she had been crying.

"Just leave me alone John!" She yelled as her voice cracked.

"What's wrong with you? Why have you been crying?" John asked wondering what the hell was going on.

"There is nothing wrong with me! But there is plenty wrong with you!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Why don't you take that damn bandana off John?" She jumped up with rage building in her eyes.

"Oh damn she knows about the hickeys, somehow!" He thought.

She grabbed the bandana and yanked it and it came right off and she got a good look at the big hickeys that were all across the side of his neck.

She was furious but the hurt she felt in her heart sent tears streaming down her cheeks as she couldn't believe she had fallen for the game he had been playing on her.

"Please listen baby, I can explain!"

"Save it John! I don't want anymore of your explanations!"

"I promise it's not what it looks like! Please let me tell you what happened!"

"I already know what happened! I bumped into your little bed buddy, Lindsey at the bar and she was kind enough to introduce herself and tell me what a great time you and her had sleeping together in Richie's guest room last night! She said you were upset about catching Dorothea cheating and she stayed and comforted you! Then she told me how she could barely walk today and you had a neck full of hickeys! I see you got your jacket back from her though!"

"She's lying Ashley! I didn't have sex with her! I promise! I was drunk and out of it and she climbed into the bed with me!  I thought she was you!"

Ashley's tears dried up and pure anger took over. "How damn dumb do you think I am John? You told me you only wanted to be with me and you slept with Dorothea two days ago and this girl last night. John Bongiovi, I'm sorry I ever gave you the time of day! Now leave me alone, and take your lies and get the hell out of here!"

Bret stood up. "You need to go!"

"This is between me and her, Bret!" John shouted.

"Not anymore! She told you to leave her alone! And you are going to do just that, because I am making it my business! Now get out of my office before I throw your ass out myself!"

"Come on Johnny." Richie pulled John's arm but he was determined to stay.

"No I ain't finished!" He turned to Ashley. "Please just give me five minutes Ashley. If you still think I'm full of shit after that, I promise I'll leave you alone. Please baby just five minutes."

Ashley looked at Bret and he shook his head no.

"It's just five minutes Bret. You heard him, then he'll leave me alone."

"He's just trying to worm his way back in, but it's up to you."

"Can y'all leave, please." She looked at Richie and Bret.

"Sure I'm going to get a beer." Bret walked out the door and Richie went back to the stage to finish getting ready for the show.

John sat down on the couch looking at her. "Please sit down." His face looked so sad and his eyes were filled with hurt and despair.

"You don't understand about Lindsey. She is obsessed with me. Richie and the guys call her my stalker! She calls my house all times of the night! She wrote she loved me all over my damn car! And yesterday she stole my damn jacket, right out of Richie's house!"

Ashley's expression was cold and her face was still a little flushed from crying. "Why is she so obsessed with you John?"

"Oh damn I can't tell her, I slept with her and never talked to her again. Fuck!"

"I don't know. But when I realized it, I told her she needed to find somebody else and that I had feelings for somebody. And that I was sorry but I don't feel that way about her, but she doesn't care!"

"All this sounds good, but you have a neck full of hickeys that I am totally positive you let somebody give you during sex!" She glanced at the deep dark bruises on his neck and turned away.

"I didn't have sex with her Ashley!" I found out Dot had cheated and I went to Richie's drinking vodka straight. I got totally fucked up! There wasn't anybody there at first. When all these girls showed up and I knew Lindsey was with them I told Richie not to let her crazy ass in, that she was trouble! I sort of got sick and went to the guest room. She must have followed me. I saw long blonde hair in the darkness, and thought it was you. She put the hickeys on my neck, but I swear I thought you were doing it! I only wanted to be with you. Ask Richie, he knows! Please Ashley!"

"Is Lindsey still here?" She stood up.

John swallowed hard and got really nervous all of a sudden. " I think she left when I made her give me my jacket back."

"Well let's go see if she is." Ashley jumped up and was out the door before John could even try to stop her. She was looking  around for Lindsey and Bret saw her and walked over with his beer.

John was standing about five feet behind her hoping like hell Lindsey had left already. He didn't need that loose canon talking to her and telling her warped side of events.

"What's up?" Bret asked wondering what the hell she was looking around for.

"Have you seen that girl, Lindsey that talked to me at the bar? I need to talk to her again."

Bret looked around. "No I don't see her. Wait! Over there by the pool table with Erica."

Ashley headed over there as quickly as she could. "Lindsey."

She turned around. "Yeah."

"Can I please talk to you for a minute?" Ashley asked nicely.

John was standing behind Ashley and when Lindsey glaced his way he seem to be  pleading with his big blue eyes. He seemed nervous and acting a way she had never seen him act before.

"Okay."

"Let's go back to Bret's office."

"Okay."

They girls headed to the back office and John followed loosely behind sort of like he was about to face a firing squad. He new whatever Lindsey was going to say was going to royally fuck his world up!

The two girls and John entered the office and Bret stood outside so he could listen to the fireworks explode and hopefully pick up Ashley's fragile pieces.

"I'll cut right to it." Ashley turned to Lindsey.

"John said you are obsessed with him and the two of you did not have sex last night!"

Lindsey turned to John. "Obsessed with you? What the hell do you mean by that?"

"Just the way it sounds, everybody calls you my damn stalker, Lindsey!"

"Why? What did I do that was so bad?" She asked sarcastically.

"You won't quit calling me, you wrote all over my car and you stole my damn jacket! Not to mention you lied to the only girl I care about that we had sex last night!"

"We did!" Lindsey screamed.

"You are lying Lindsey and you better tell Ashley the damn truth!" John yelled back.

"Come on Lindsey, I really need to know what happened. Please tell me the truth."

"Okay." Lindsey turned to John with her anger on her face showing. "You leave!"

John looked confused. "Hell no, I ain't going nowhere!" He yelled.

Ashley walked up to him. "Come on John she shoved him toward the door. "We are just going to have a little talk. I need you to hop out for a minute."

"But Ash, I want to know what she says!"

"You will." She opened the door and shoved him out in the hall with Bret.

"Fuck!" John yelled as he looked over at Bret. "You're just loving this shit ain't you!"

"I knew you'd fuck up with her sooner or later!" 

"Okay so what happened between you and John?" Ashley asked Lindsey.

"Ashley I don't think you know the real Johnny. He uses girls for whatever he can. You must have heard about his reputation."

"I know about it, but he doesn't act that way with me."

"Well about a month ago I was here at a show and we found ourselves in the back dressing room and we had sex. He didn't kiss me, it wasn't romantic at all. When it was over he told me thanks and that he had to go meet his girlfriend. I was devastated. I have been in love with Johnny Bongiovi since I first met him when I was thirteen years old. I come up here every weekend just hoping to get a glimpse of him. I love him and he doesn't notice me at all."

"That's so sad. I'm so sorry sweetie that he used you like that.  You need to look for someone that is going to treat you better. You deserve that honey."

"But I love him! I just wish he'd give me a chance!"

"So he was drunk and kind of out of it and you put those hickeys on his neck."

"He kissed me out on the porch and it was wonderful. Oh my God, it was the best kiss of my life. He went to the guest room and I went in there to talk to him. We kissed some more. I put the hickeys on his neck. He was fine with it. He let me do it. He told me to make love to him. I thought it was what he wanted and he freaked out at the last minute when I called him Johnny."

"He said he was drunk and thought it was me. I never call him Johnny. I always call him John. So when you called him that he realized it wasn't me. So you really didn't have sex with him?"

"No but if he hadn't been so drunk we probably would  have."

"Thanks for telling me the truth." You can go now."

Lindsey walked out.

Ashley sat down at Bret's desk, holding her head realizing that all the rumours were true.

"He knew this girl cared about him and he screwed her in the back room, while he had a girlfriend, knowing he didn't give a shit about her or how she felt about him. He even admitted to me, he does this sort of shit all the time." She thought as some tears ran down her cheek. And she brushed them off with the back of her hand.

John opened the door and came in and Bret stood in the doorway.

John saw Ashley was upset. "What the hell did that bitch tell you?" John yelled.

"She told me the truth that she didn't have sex with you last night."

"Good." He smiled. "But what's wrong then?"

"John how could you have had sex with her here at the Fast Lane? When you were still with Dorothea. She said you hurried through it, didn't even kiss her and told her you had to go meet your girlfriend, after you told her thanks for putting out."

John just looked at her and he didn't say a word. He didn't know how to smooth this over.

"I suppose she's still lying huh?" Ashley asked sarcastically.

"Ashley, I would love to say she's lying, but it happened just like that. I was drunk, I told her I didn't want to mess around with her. But she came on to me so damn strong. She took her damn clothes off and we fucked on the couch in the back room. I didn't care about her, but she wanted to do it. I'm sorry, I'm a man, I'm weak and I don't know very many men that can turn down a piece of ass when it's laid out in front of them with a damn bow tied on it! Come on Ashley! You can't be mad about that! I didn't even know you then!"

Ashley sat there astonished at what he  had just said to her.

Bret couldn't believe he said it to her either. He laughed to himself knowing Ashley was going to tear into him.

She stood up and looked at John. "How dare you stand there and say that shit to me! I gave you the benefit of the doubt when everybody around me told me that doing shit just like this is exactly who you are!" She stared into his eyes.

"It's not me when I'm with you! I changed the minute I met you!" John responded.

"I can't be with a cheater, John. I'm sorry, I won't stoop that low."

John laughed. "Well that's just great, I guess that's why you were in here with Bret. Letting him comfort you in your time of need! I guess you two can pick up right where you left off and you can repay him by sleeping with him this time!" He yelled.

As soon as he said it he wished he could take it back.

"Get out!" Ashley screamed as her face turned red from anger.

"Okay so that's it! You're hold up back here with Bret and you don't want to talk to me anymore! Fine there's a whole damn club of ladies right outside this room that will talk to me!"

"Well you better hop to it then!" She yelled as he went out the door and slammed it behind him.

She looked at Bret and burst into tears.

"Come here." He grabbed her and pulled her into him and hugged her and she cried on his shoulder. "I know that was hard for you, but it's for the best."

"I don't know how I let my self get so caught up in him. I can't believe what he just said to me and  the way he talked about that girl, Lindsey. She thinks she's in love with him. Damn it Bret! I think I'm in love with him too!" She put her head on his shoulder and cried some more.

It hurt Bret to hear she thought she loved John, but he would try to be there for her and maybe she would come back to him.

"It's okay Ash, just forget about him. You see now how he is. You're too good for him baby."

Someone knocked on the door.

"Yeah, come in." Bret hollered.

Nikki opened the door. She saw Bret and Ashley on the couch and it was apparent she had been crying.

"Hey Nikki." Bret looked over at her.

"Can I talk to you?"

"I'm sorry, but it's not a good time."

"Go ahead Bret. I'm fine." Ashley wiped her eyes once more with her tissue."

"Okay." Bret got up and walked out with Nikki.

"What's going on with you? You invited me up here and you can't tear yourself away from this damn girl!" She yelled at Bret, loud enough for Ashley to hear.

"Look me and Ashley have known each other for a while and she's having a really bad night. She's upset and I can't just leave her right now!"

Ashley walked out of the office. "The office is all yours." She announced as she walked down the hall.

"Ash, where are you going?" Bret hollered down the hall after her.

"I'm fine Bret!" Ashley walked toward the bar.

Stacey looked up and saw her. "What in the hell happened to you? Why have you been crying?"

"I had it out with John." He was with a girl last night at Richie's, it's a long story."

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry. He's never going to change."

Ashley pulled out her red pass and ordered her some more champagne.

Ashley finished her glass and ordered two more sitting there talking to Stacey.

Message had already been playing  and the girls got up and went closer to the stage. Just in time to watch Richie showing out.

Richie looked her way and she smiled and waved at him and he smiled back at her.

Richie could tell she had been crying and he felt bad for her.

"I told you to give him a chance. Damn Richie is looking so fine tonight. Stacey giggled as Richie took his shirt off.

"Holy hell, he's gorgeous!" Stacey exclaimed and bumped Ashley on the arm. "Damn if it wasn't for Dalton I would be all over him!" She laughed.

Ashley smiled. "Yeah, he really is gorgeous."

John was over at the pool tables with David. They were drinking beer and shooting a game but John's head wasn't in it." He could see Ashley from where he stood. She was beautiful in that hot dress. Everytime he saw her she was drinking champagne and he knew she had to be plastered by now.

 He watched Ashley and Stacey fawning over Richie when he took his shirt off. "Damn did he do that just because Ashley was standing there?" He wondered.

"It's your turn Johnny!" David barked out irritated that John still wasn't paying attention.

"Huh? Oh sorry man." He took the shot and missed.

"Why don't you go over there."

"I shot my big damn mouth off. I know she's pissed at me." John downed the two shots he had bought at the bar.

"You won't know if don't go over there."

Message finished playing and rolling up their equipment. Richie came over to John and David. "So what happened with Ashley? It looks like she's been crying."

"She's pissed at me."

"Is Lindsey still lying?"

"No she told the truth about last night, but she also told her about the night we did sleep together here after a show and she's pissed because I cheated on Dot and didn't care nothing about Lindsey and slept with her anyway."

"That's bullshit you didn't even know her then!"

"That's what I told her! I lost my temper and  said some shit I shouldn't have said about her being free to sleep with Bret now. So she's pissed at me."

John looked over and saw her talking to all the members of Poison.

"There's my favorite Biloxi girl." C C. grinned looking at her.

"C.C." Ashley squealed. She was drunk and threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek and he quickly turned and he got her lips on his.

 "I got my kiss!" He laughed.

"Oh stop it." She grinned.

"Well it's true, I always wanted to kiss you and you wouldn't give me the time of day."

"No she wouldn't because I would of kicked your ass C.C.!" Bret spoke up.

"If your going to kiss his ugly mug you've got to kiss me. Rikki grinned and puckered up.

Ashley laughed and kissed him a peck on the lips. "Hey Rikki."

"Damn I do believe you look better than the last time I saw you!" Rikki hugged her.

"Thanks. I missed y'all so much."

John was watching. "Fuck does she got to kiss all of them?"

"Hello beautiful, you really are a sight for sore eyes and damn what a dress, it fits you perfectly." Bobby grinned.

"Hey Bobby, thanks."

"Yeah, damn you do look hot in that dress babe. When are you finally going to go out with me?" C.C. grabbed her and pulled her closer.

"C.C. you're so sweet. But you know it always pissed Bret off when you asked me out."

"Doesn't Bret have his own blonde now. Nikki something or other." He chuckled.

"I guess, she's around here somewhere."

"Well babe let me tell you, she doesn't hold a candle to you. Now tell me, what have you been crying about? Has nobody ever told you, that you are way too beautiful to cry?"

"Thanks". She looked at him sadly. "My life's a mess C.C."

"I'm sorry to hear that babe. You know Bret's been missing you. He ain't been worth a shit without you."

"I missed him, I missed all of you. God I wish I could just go back to the night I met y'all. I would  have done some things differently, that's for sure."

"Well there's no going back, but no reason you can't change whatever is making you cry."

"Oh C.C. it's complicated."

"I have a track record for falling for all the wrong guys."

"Yep you fell for Bret and missed out on all this you could of had." C.C.  strutted around like a peacock.

She laughed and her eyes really looked happy for a few seconds.

John saw Ashley laughing at C.C. and him dancing around and wondered what the fuck is that dumb ass doing over there?"

Bret stood over to the edge of the stage with Bobby. "Anything going on with you two?" Bobby asked.

"I'm trying. But she's hung up on that fucking punk Bongiovi."

"Johnny?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't you ban his ass from the club?"

"Oh I would. His Dad and Harold the owner, go way back, they are like brothers. I can't do shit to him up here. That's why his ass is always up here playing with all kinds of bands."

"Is he the reason why she's been crying?"

"Yeah you should see this jerk off man, he is up here tonight running around with a neck full of ridiculous hickeys he got from some skank. He was trying to hide them from Ashley and she busted his ass on them. I was laughing my ass off at this dumb fucker."

"Yeah, I hate that punk. He was mean mugging my ass up at the bar. I wondered what his fucking problem was. Now I know. You're after his girl. Well your girl. She was yours first." Bobby grinned.

"Oh and she's going to be mine again."

"What about sticky Nikki?"

"Quit calling her that, it really pisses her off!" Bret laughed.

"Good. I know you're just passing time with her but she ain't even in the same class as Ashley."

"Believe me I know."

Bret took the stage with Poison.

"Hello Fast Lane. I am proud to present my band Poison. And it's gonna be a great night. My favorite girl is here in the audience." Nikki smiled and looked up at Bret who was looking down at Ashley.

"Damn it is he really talking about that bitch, right in front of my damn face?" Nikki wondered.

And John was watching and getting pissed.

Nikki came over to John. "Isn't she your damn girlfriend? Why is she hanging after Bret?" She snapped looking up at John pissed.

"No she's not my girlfriend, I don't know what the hell we are to each other and those two used to be together."

"Your kidding. Bret never mentioned her to me."

"Damn look at the way he's looking at her." She whined.

"Yeah and she looks at him the same damn way." John replied.

John looked at them and was getting more angry by the second.

Bret seemed to be singing right to Ashley in the crowd. She was singing along with him and she seemed to know every damn word.

John couldn't remember ever being so jealous of anybody before.

Bret grabbed Ashley's hand and pulled her up on stage. He took his shirt off.

He danced around the stage with Ashley. They had their hands all over each other. She was so drunk she stumbled a few times and nearly fell off the stage.

"Damn it! What's with everybody taking their fucking shirts off tonight?" John mumbled to himself watching Ashley so drunk with her hands all over Bret's bare chest.

"It serves her right if she falls her ass right off of that damn stage." Nikki mumbled.

"He knows she's drunk he shouldn't have took her up there!" John yelled headed for the stage.

"Ashley get down!" He yelled looking at her.
 

"No!" She yelled back.

"Please I need to talk to you!" He shouted over the music.

She walked to the edge of the stage and shook her head. "No John, there is nothing else to say. Where's all your women that were out here waiting to talk to you?" She yelled over the music and laughed.

Bret announced the band was taking a short break.

Bret helped her down off of the stage. She walked over to the bar with him and totally ignored John  and just left him standing there.

Bret had his arm around her back and she was giggling and not noticing John at all.

Nikki had seen enough and headed for the parking lot.

John couldn't take seeing them together anymore. "I'm out of here." He looked at Richie.

"Don't leave. There's a lot of other chicks up here, man!" Richie shouted to him.

John headed for the door and gave Ashley one last look.  He walked out the door and saw Nikki standing beside the building. She had called her friend for a ride and was hoping they would show up.

"You need a ride?" John asked.

"I'm waiting on my friend."

"Where do you live?"

"Seaside Heights, but you don't have to, I'll get a ride."

"It's no problem." They got in the car. The club door swung open and Ashley came outside by herself. She had noticed John leave and went outside to see where he went.

"Hold up what's she doing?" John was just about to get out of the car when Bret came outside to check on her. John rolled his window down a little so he could hear them.

"Where are you going baby?" Bret asked closing the door.

Ashley stumbled a little and grabbed on to Bret. He grabbed her and pulled her closer to him.

"Damn I have missed you being this close to me."

"Aww Bret, I missed you so much when you left."

"I missed you too baby. You never left my mind. He leaned down a little and started to kiss her, soft and slow but with such intensity. It was like they hadn't been apart for a day.

"Oh my God! Look at them!" Nikki yelled.

John was watching, he couldn't believe what was unfolding before his eyes. He instantly had a pounding in his head and a knife thru his heart.

He could barely breathe. Ashley looked like she was finally where she wanted to be. John couldn't stand to watch it anymore. He cranked up and peeled out of the parking space spinning his wheels and Bret and Ashley watched as John and Nikki took off flying down the road.