He grabbed her shoulder. "Wait a minute. You don't have to leave, because of me. It's a big beach. I guess, I can share it with you." He smiled hoping she would stay.
"Thanks."
"So what's got a pretty girl like you, out here so upset and crying?"
She couldn't tell him the truth. That is was because of him. That it was tearing her apart, to know he was back with Dorothea. "Just some family stuff."
"Oh yeah, I have a lot of that going on too. My family always thinks they know what's best for me. But that's family for you. You can't live with them and you can't shoot them." He grinned and she smiled.
"Hey I know this sounds crazy. But I have my guitar out in my car. And ever since I woke up in the hospital and saw you, I have been writing a song for you. I hope I'm not scaring you off. I swear I'm not some kind of nut job or serial killer. He chuckled nervously. "If I go get it will you listen to what I have so far. My voice sounds like shit right now, but I think I can do enough for you to get the idea." He smiled at her, wanting so much for her to say yes.
God she wanted to run into his arms. For him to tell her that everything was going to be alright. But she couldn't. He really didn't even know her. "Okay I would love to hear it." She smiled at him.
"Do you know how beautiful you are when you smile at me?" He grinned.
"Oh John, thanks." She looked up at him with her sparkling blue eyes. The beautiful eyes he had been dreaming of since he saw them in the hospital. The eyes that were the inspiration for his song.
"Don't go anywhere!" He started walking backwards still looking at her. "I'll be right back!" He turned and quickly hurried out to his car to grab his guitar.
He brought it back and stood before her.
"Everytime I see you, I wish I could tell you all of this, but I can't find the words."
"So here goes. Okay, remember my voice usually sounds alot better, it's really shitty right now."
"Okay."
He started playing a fast pace song and singing softly to her. Telling about the feelings he had when he first saw her. How he knew from the start she had to be his. How her smile brightened his world. He mentioned how beautiful he thought her blue eyes were and how he could get lost in them. It was amazing but his voice was husky and rough. Sounding nothing like the John, she knew. She was very concerned for him and hoped he was going to be okay.
"Oh John that's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done fore me. What's it called?"
"Lost in your eyes." He laid his guitar in the sand. "I'm almost done with it."
He was so close to her she was smiling and her perfume was surrounding him. Taking him to another place. Where only the two of them existed. It was like a dream. He reached out to her and pulled her in his arms. It felt so right. This had to be where she belonged. He couldn't hold back.
He began to softly kiss her. He about fell over when he realized she was kissing him back. Explosions went off in his head as they tumbled to the ground with passion igniting the fire in both their hearts. This felt so right for her to be in his arms. As their tongues continued their heated exchange.
She was an excellent kisser, but he wasn't going to be out done. He held her mouth captive as he drove her whole body wild. He could tell how much she wanted him. He wanted to forget reality and have his way with her, right then and there. But he wouldn't be able to make her any promises. He was in a mess with Dorothea, and even though his feeling were real and intense for this girl. He needed to stop this before it went any further. "She deserves more than I can give her." He thought, but he was weak and she smelled so damn good.
Ashley broke free from the kiss with reality settling in. "We can't do this John, you have a girlfriend!" She hated so much to refer to that bitch, in that way.
"I don't know if I do. We had a big fight. She left pissed at me this morning. I don't know if we can work it out. He replied disappointed that she brought up Dorothea.
"What would be so big you couldn't work it out?" She wanted to know, but hoped it was truly over between them.
"She's been fucking lying to me." John spoke with his own pain coming through, and a touch of anger in his voice.
"I'm sorry you're hurting John."
"I just don't know what to do. She kept a big ass secret from me!"
"What kind of secret?" She hoped he remembered about her cheating with Bobby.
"She stopped taking her damn birth control pills, without telling me. And we've been screwing like rabbits lately. She thinks she might be pregnant."
Ashley turned white, this was the worst possible news she could hear. "Oh my God! What are you going to do?" She asked almost breaking down herself.
"I don't know. She wants me to marry her. I know I should. But, I don't think I'm ready to be a husband or a father. And I know I can't trust her. What would you do, if you were me?"
"Oh I can't say! I have my own relationship troubles."
"You have a boyfriend?" He asked shocked and seemed a little disappointed.
She wished she could tell him that he was her boyfriend that she loved and missed so very much, but she couldn't.
"He's an ex. He just got into town last night."
"Oh were the two of you very serious?"
"Yeah we were together for a while."
"Damn." He thought. "He's a lucky damn guy." He was thinking, wishing she was his girlfriend. "So he wants you back?"
"I guess so."
"Well how was the sex when you were together?"
Ashley's eyes got big as saucers. She was shocked that he would ask her that. "I don't know, I've never had sex with him."
"Wait!" He smiled. "You can't be a virgin?" He was on the verge of a chuckle.
She closed her eyes and sighed. She opened them and looked into his deep blue eyes. "No, but I've only had sex with one amazing guy in my whole entire life, and it definitely wasn't him."
"Oh only one? Well he was a damn lucky dude, whoever he was." He smiled. "So what happened?"
"He's back with his ex. She wants him to settle down with her."
"I'm sorry Ashley. Do you love him?"
"With my whole heart."
This ripped through John's heart like a knife. It didn't make sense to him. But he hated she was all hung up on some other guy. "Maybe you should just move on. If she wants him to settle down, then that means she probably wants him to have kids with her. That seems like a hassle to me. I would just move on, if I were you."
"What if your girlfriend is pregnant?" She asked, afraid of the answer.
"I yelled at her. I was pissed. I told her I wasn't ready to have kids. But if she's pregnant, I'd marry her. I'd have to, it's my damn kid." He turned his head with a queasiness taking over his stomach, just thinking about it.
Ashley felt like her world was closing in. Oh my God she's pregnant and he's going to marry her. She couldn't breath. She stood up. Trying to catch her breath. She felt like she was smothering. "I've got to go!" She started walking quickly to her car.
"Hey why are you leaving? Ash don't go!" He tried to yell, but his hoarse strained voice wouldn't get very loud. He was worried she didn't hear him, but she stopped and turned around with tears streaming down her face.
"How did you know to call me that?" She asked hoping he was remembering something.
He walked a little closer. "I don't know? It just came blurting, right out of my mouth! Was I right? Do people call you Ash?" He asked hoping he got it right.
"Yes. She couldn't bare to look at him. "Bye John, I've got to go." She started walking.
He called out to her. "My friends call me Johnny." This made her feel even more horrible, that he didn't remember telling her to call him John. "Damn." She mumbled under her breath and walked away disappointed.
"He's never going to remember me and Dorothea's probably pregnant with his child." She sobbed to herself as she got in her car and drove away.
John watched her drive off. He couldn't understand. Why he had all these fuzzy feelings for her. She was a stranger. He sat down on the beach trying to sort out his feelings for Dorothea. "She's a damn liar, but she does love me. Maybe it's my fault I'm the one that wanted her to go on the pill, so I could quit wearing those damn condoms.
I should have known not to trust her to take the damn things! She did tell me she wanted to settle down and have children with me. Maybe I shouldn't fight it. Dot's loyal. She won't fuck around on me. She'd be a good Mom. She's good in bed and she doesn't mind giving me head. I wonder how Ashley is in bed? She's a great kisser. Oh the things I could do with that mouth!" He grinned. "Stop it! Stop fantasizing about a damn girl that you barely know. If things are going to work out with Dot, I have to stop cheating! I just have to!" He tried to convince himself, but he knew he loved sex, and loved it with different women.
He thought back to today and Angela finally being back in his bed. Oh he was having a great time when Dorothea busted up in the place. He was a lot more advanced now and sex with Angela was some of the best he could remember. "I wonder if Angela's in the office right now? Fuck!" He thought. "I can't even stop. Dot's probably pregnant right now with my damn kid and all I'd like to be doing is screwing Ashley or Angela! Shit I'm fucked!" He stood up more confused than ever.
He got in his car and just started driving, surprised when he pulled up at Richie's. He didn't even realize he had driven there, he was so deep in thought.
He got out and knocked. Richie pulled the door open. "Hey man what's up?"
"I'm fucked that's all!" He exclaimed as he stomped through the front door.
"Come on back here." Richie motioned for him to follow him to his room. "What's going on?"
"Dot's been lying. She quit taking her damn birth control pills and she thinks she's pregnant!"
"Shit she's trying to trap you, but how do you know it's your kid? Richie blurted out sitting down next to John.
"Who else's would it be? Dot don't fuck around!" John snapped back. He couldn't believe Richie would accuse her of it.
Richie remembered John forgot he caught her cheating with Bobby. But that was a big thing and he knew damn well he couldn't refresh his memory.
"Damn, so what are you going to do?"
"I don't know, she told me Ma would make me marry her. And she will, she will fucking freak out and then she will start planning the damn wedding!"
"Where is Dot now?"
"I don't know. I threw her out of my apartment this morning."
"What? Why?"
She came home early and caught me banging Ashley!"
Richie's eyes got huge. "ASHLEY?"
"Did I say Ashley? Damn, I meant Angela!"
And I can't fucking get that chick off my mind!"
"Angela?" Richie asked surprised.
"Hell no! Ashley. I only wanted to fuck Angela but Ashley is driving me insane! I can't get her out of my damn head. I found a tree behind the apartments, where I had carved our names in it. I don't even remember doing it! She was at the beach this morning. And I kissed her and she kissed me back! She told me her ex is here though and he wants her back."
"Was it Jake?" Richie asked concerned, but was very disappointed Ashley had kissed John. He was hoping she would stay away from him, since he was back with Dot.
"Maybe she didn't say his name."
"Now go back, you were banging Angela?" Richie grinned.
"Yeah we were really going at it and Dot walked in killing the mood."
"Damn." Richie laughed. "I'm surprised she didn't beat both your asses with her black belt!" He laughed.
"I didn't even think of that. She could have killed me! She is a fucking karate champion now!" He shook his head and sighed wondering how his life got so fucked up.
"So Angela, she's fucking wild right?" How about those roses tattooed above her ass? Richie grinned, knowing first hand.
"Yeah, but how the hell do you know about the roses?" John asked with a little attitude.
"I fucked her, at her apartment?" Richie answered proudly, while grinning.
"When?" John stood up sort of angry and maybe a little jealous.
"Last week. Why? Don't give me that look! You don't give a damn about her!" Richie replied wondering what the hell his problem was.
"You're right, I don't give a shit about her. See I told you. I'm losing my mind." He sat down holding his head.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, but these fucking headaches are killing me! And they're getting worse!"
"Do you need something for it?"
"Yeah whatever you have."
He brought him a bottle of tylenol and John popped a few pills and sat around a while hoping his head would feel better.
"I've got to go."
"Where are you going?"
"To see Harold."
"I'm going to the Fast Lane later if you want to meet up." Richie replied.
"Yeah getting shit faced seems really good to me right now."
John left and drove on to the Fast Lane. He saw Harold's car and across from it, he saw the Trans Am, that was at the beach this morning.
"Damn Ashley's here!" He thought to himself. As soon as he walked in he saw her still wearing the sweater but she had slipped on a pair of jeans. He stood by the bar sort of staring with his jaw open. She was holding some kind of book, like she was working there or something and didn't seem to notice him.
She was talking with Harold and Bret and laughing. She was in a much better mood than when he saw her on the beach earlier.
He wanted to go over there. He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her again but that was just crazy! He had to stop obsessing over her. He was scaring himself, this obsession with a perfect stranger was bordering on psychotic.
Harold looked over and saw John standing by the door.
"Johnny!" He motioned for him to come over. He grabbed him and pulled him in for a hug. He pulled back and looked at him. "Damn it son! I heard we almost lost you!" He patted him on the back.
"Not me, I'm too tough, you can't keep me down long." John chuckled.
"How are you doing?"
"I'm having a hell of a time remembering things. And when I do I get these really bad headaches. My throats really sore, you hear this scratchy hoarse voice. But I'm here, I can't complain. Dot's trying to fill some of the gaps in for me."
"Yeah, so you're hanging with Dot? Huh?"
"Of course, she's my girlfriend. I know she can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but she loves me. We've got to work a few things out though."
Ashley was sitting at a corner table eavesdropping.
"Wow she really has the damn wool pulled over his eyes!" She thought. "I can't believe he's not still pissed about her going off the pill, without telling him!" She heard in her head, as she looked over at him sitting up on the stage talking to Harold. She turned back to straighten up her order forms. She glanced back over at him and he was staring a hole right through her.
"I hear you. I just kind of thought, you were happier without her?" Harold knew he wasn't supposed to say anything but he knew how happy John was with Ashley, and he remembered how miserable he was with Dorothea.
"You know how it is. Women drive you nuts, but you can't live without them."
"Don't I know it!" Harold chuckled.
"So I just wanted to let you know, I'm ready to work for you again when you need me."
"Well just take a few more days off. Don't worry you'll still get paid. Get some rest. You look so damn tired. How's my car treating you?"
"I thought that was you ZX in the parking lot!"
"Yep but it's yours now. He grabbed John's keys off the table. This is the key."
"Thanks my brain is mush, since that guy attacked me."
"Do you remember any of it?"
"No just what my Mom and Dad told me."
"Well don't worry about it. Do you want a beer?"
"I'll take one." He smiled.
Harold came back to him with the beer.
"Thanks." John nodded over at Ashley. "She's working here now?" Trying to find out what she was doing there.
"Yeah, she's an assistant for me and Bret. Damn pretty girl, and she's so helpful and smart. And I love that southern accent she has. I could just sit back and listen to it all day." Harold smiled.
"I could too, I love those southern chicks. Especially the blondes." John chuckled.
"She's single you know." Harold hoped to give his brain a little nudge in Ashley's direction.
"Yeah she's totally fine. But I really need to concentrate on Dot right now."
"Again with Dorothea, you know I really didn't think, you two kids were that close!" Harold couldn't help it. He loved Johnny like a son and wanted him to snap out of it and remember he was finished with Dot.
"Yeah well things change, listen I can't tell my parents anything yet, but Dot might be pregnant."
"Damn it Johnny! How many times have we warned you boys! Condoms, condoms, condoms!"
"I know, I know! Believe me I know! But she was on the pill!"
"So it didn't work?" Harold asked not believing it.
John took a deep breath getting ready for a lecture. "She quit taking them!"
Harold's face turned red he was so pissed. "So she didn't tell you trying to get herself pregnant! Damn it Johnny! Why the hell are you back messing with that damn crazy girl?"
Johnny's head started to split with a pounding headache. "Hold on, back with Dot? What do you mean back with her?"
Harold thought quick. "You know, the two of you break up all the damn time."
"Well we've been back together for a while this time." He replied massaging his temple.
"So what if she is pregnant? How can you be sure it's your kid?"
"Why is everybody asking me that? You know Dot is as loyal a Jersey girl, as they come. I don't have to worry about her messing around."
Harold smirked. Thinking to himself. "No you just have to worry about her fucking your old friend Bobby!" But he held it back to himself. Johnny couldn't take the news right now. He looked like shit. "Well don't worry girls have babies all the time. It doesn't mean you have to marry her or even stay with her. This ain't the 50's anymore."
"You know my Mother, she would beat my ass if I left Dot blowing in the wind with her grandchild!"
"Well don't worry about it right now, but for God's sake Johnny, wear a fucking rubber next time! You can't trust these air headed girls to pop a pill! And don't look at me like that, I hate the damn things too, but it's better to be safe than bouncing a damn baby on your knee that you ain't ready for! I just had this very same conversation with your brother Tony yesterday!"
John smiled. "Tony's getting some action?"
"He's trying. He's crazy about this little girl, but the she's playing hard to get."
"Oh I know how that is. John looked over at Ashley and Harold saw him.
"Why don't you go talk to her. She loves the same kind of music you do. You too kids have so much in common." Harold nudged him a little out of his chair.
Ashley got up and went back to her office. She only came in to get a couple of bands booked for the weekend and fill out some order forms. John got up and followed her. He knocked on her door lightly.
"Hey can I come in?"
"Okay." She looked up at him, from her desk.
"Look there's a lot of weird shit going on with me right now. And it all seems to lead back to you. That kiss today was amazing. I seem to have a lot of unexplained feelings for you, so I'm just going to ask. Did we have a thing together or something?"
Ashley didn't know what to say. She looked at him wondering what was going on. "A thing?" She asked.
"Yeah, before I got hurt things were very clear to me. I was with Dot and yeah things were rocky, but we made it through it. Now some dude tried to kill me and I can't remember shit. But I have all these weird dreams and thoughts of you! I don't know where the hell they are coming from, but I feel like I'm going insane!"
"I'm sorry John. I don't think I can give you the answers you're looking for." She had to lie. He looked so horrible. So run down and tired. She couldn't make it worse, he was already so frustrated and confused.
"Okay then I'm sorry I bothered you." He walked out the door. "I must just be obsessed with her and she must be hung up on the guy she slept with. I'm just wasting my time."
He sadly walked down the hall trying to put her out of his mind, once and for all.
Richie and David came walking in. They had just come from Richie's house.
"Johnny shoot some pool with us man!" Richie walked over grabbing a pool stick and digging for some quarters.
"Okay."
Did you talk to Harold? Does he have any work for us?" Richie asked.
"He said to take a couple more days off."
"Okay just let me know."
Ashley walked behind the bar and Richie saw her. I'll be right back. He walked over to Ashley and picked her up hugging her as John looked on, jealous as hell, but not knowing why.
Ashley smiled and hugged him back they were talking and laughing. "Damn what the fuck?" He stood there getting more pissed by the second. Trying to put her out of his mind sure as hell wasn't working.
Richie walked back over. "I had to mess with her." He chuckled.
"The two of you seem really close. How far have you gotten with her?" John asked with a disturbing look on his face. He knew how Richie was, so maybe she slept with him.
Richie questioned the look. "What's up man? What are you asking?"
"Just curious if you banged her. I saw her at the beach this morning and she told me, she's only been with one dude and you looked real damn chummy with her."
"Damn I wish!" Richie looked at her and smiled. "Yeah she's only been with one guy, but I assure you, it wasn't me."
"But I can tell you want to. Did something happen with her?"
"I kissed her and told her I have feelings for her, but she blew me off. She's waiting around for an old boyfriend, that probably ain't coming back." Richie looked at John, hoping like hell he wouldn't ever remember Ashley and she would just give up on him.
"Damn, I didn't realize Richie had a thing for her too. And damn it. He kissed her!" He thought, kind of pissed off about it."Did she sleep with that ex asshole that just got to town?"
Richie grinned. "Jake, no it's a different asshole." Richie looked up. "Well speak of the devil and there he is, in the red shirt." He was looking at Jake and Rickey, they had just walked through the door.
"That's Jake?" John asked feeling jealousy bubbling up from his gut.
Ashley was rounding the corner looking for her band scheduling book when she saw Rickey and Jake she hurried over to them. "What are y'all doing here?" She asked with a totally surprised look on her face.
"Hey baby, I just wanted to come by and see where you work." Jake smiled looking at her. "Can we get a beer?"
"I guess you can, but then you need to go."
"Why are you trying to bum rush us baby?"
"Yeah Ash, you sure look guilty about something!" Rickey laughed.
"Don't she though?" Jake laughed. "Her face is red. She's all nervous. I bet your palms are sweating!" He grabbed her hands and knew he was right and continued laughing.
John was watching them and wondering what that was all about. It looked like he was holding her hands.
She snatched her hands away from Jake. "Will you just stop? I'm almost done. We can go to over to the Stone Pony, y'all will like it much better, over there!" She replied hoping to get these two the hell away from John, before Jake decided he wanted some payback for the night, John and the boys jumped him.
She looked over at John. And Jake followed her eyes. He bumped Rickey on his shoulder. "There's her problem! That fucking prick's here!" He nodded toward John at the pool table. "The one in the cowboy boots."
Rickey looked over at John standing at the pool table. "Damn Jake he's not that big! He got the jump on you!" Rickey laughed.
"Those two assholes standing there with him, were the ones that held me!"
He looked back and noticed Richie and David.
Ashley looked at the growing rage building in Jake's eyes. "Stop it Jake! He doesn't even remember! Please for me, just leave him alone."
"Are you sure he doesn't remember it, because the fucker is mean mugging me right now!"
Ashley looked over and John looked pissed staring right at Jake. "Oh damn!" Ashley thought. She had to keep these two apart.
"Ricky stop him!"
"From what Ash? Looking at the dude that whipped his ass! There's really not anything I can do. That long haired punk, needs his ass kicked!" He chuckled.
Bret was standing at the bar talking to Mike. When Ashley walked up frantic.
"Bret!"
"Yeah baby what is it?"
"My ex Jake is right there with my brother Rickey and I'm pretty sure they want to jump on John!"
"Well they better do it outside because there won't be any damn fighting in my club! Wait, Jake? That's the one that hit you and knocked you down the damn stairs!" Bret yelled realizing who this guy really was.
"Bret please don't do anything! I just don't want him fighting with John. He doesn't even remember they fought before!"
"Don't worry if he starts any kind of trouble I will kick his ass myself!"
She looked like she was about to cry.
"Here sit down and have a drink, you are all upset. Mike get her a big glass of champagne."
"I'll be right back." He walked over to Jake and Ricky as Ashley cringed from the bar.
"Hey which one of you is Jake?"
"I am!" Jake answered without hesitation.
"Listen I'm Bret and I've wanted to punch you in the face for a long damn time!"
"Hold up, you must have me confused with somebody else!" Jake grinned.
John and Richie heard Bret yelling and started watching them argue back and forth.
You're the asshole that likes to play on the damn phone! I called Ashley's new number, when I left town and you thought it was funny to keep telling me I had the wrong number!" Bret yelled.
"My bad man it was just a joke damn!" He began to laugh.
"A joke it sure didn't feel like a fucking joke to me, when I thought for sure, the girl I was in love with was blowing me off! And was it a joke when you hit her and knocked her down that damn staircase! You like to hit girls huh?"
"What's he talking about Jake?" Rickey asked confused by his accusation.
"Nothing man! I didn't hurt her. I wasn't the reason she fell!"
"Are they fighting about Ashley? Was Bret her boyfriend or something?" John asked Richie, trying to figure out what was going on.
"Yeah they used to be together." Richie mumbled, still trying to listen.
John wondered if Bret was the guy she had slept with and was so hung up on. She was with him a lot and she was smiling earlier, talking to him.
"Ashley come here!" Rickey yelled. "Did Jake hit you? Was he the reason you fell down those damn stairs?"
"Rickey please don't! My memory from that night isn't good!" She began to cry and Rickey hugged her.
Jake put his arm across her back and Bret knocked it off. "Don't fucking touch her man! Even if you didn't knock her down the stairs, you fucking hit her before!"
"Look whatever happened between me and Ash is between us!" He yelled back at Bret.
"He hit her? That asshole hit her?" John asked Richie overhearing them yelling and feeling like his blood was about to boil, he was so angry.
"Yeah man I knew about it." Richie replied remembering the details Ashley had told him.
"Well why don't you fucking try to hit me!" Bret yelled totally pissed off.
Ashley got in between them. "Please stop! I just can't take all this fighting!"
Jake turned to her. "Ashley I'm so sorry, for everything I've ever done to hurt you. I was a real dumbass and drunk most of the time. You didn't deserve any of it. I regret it everyday, all of it. I'm sorry for cheating with Megan. I didn't know what you meant to me. I lost everything when I lost you. Please Ashley, I just want to say I'm sorry. You can have somebody beat my ass. I deserve it for everything I did to you. But I still love you. And I wish you still loved me too." Jake was all choked up. She had never seen him this way. It brought tears to her eyes, when it opened old scars on her heart.
She didn't know what to say. No matter how many times he had hurt her. He never poured his heart out like he just did to apologise. She moved a little closer to him.
"It's Okay Jake. I forgive you." He slowly put his arms around her. As they both had tears in their eyes. He leaned in and kissed her, right there in the middle of the Fast Lane, with everyone watching. It caught her off guard. But it was sweet and warm and reminded her of how great he was when they first got together. Oh how she used to love him. How she prayed everyday he would change. And here he was telling her everything she always wanted to hear from him.
John was frozen in place. He had no idea why the sight of these two together like this, was ripping his heart to shreds and splitting his head in half with the worse pounding headache ever.
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